Peut-être

I've been struggling this week to decide what to write about. It's getting harder and harder to whittle down this experience into a "weekly update," but on top of a full class load, writing a screen play, and experiencing the joie de vivre, I'm having a little trouble with my old foe time management.
Tonight at dinner, we had an interesting conversation about blogs. What makes them interesting, our favorites, etc. I realized that the more responses or acknowledgment I get from writing in this weird, new-age medium, the more hesitant I become in my expression. Basically, I felt a little guilty for railing against the American education system (I do not, indeed, think it is hopelessly flawed), and I wanted to make it perfectly clear how much I love my motherland that I'm a bit homesick for ce soir.
For instance, at the table I found myself starting a sentence with, "As an American..." with a comical amount of pride to rival Lee Greenwood. We were talking about the law in France banning "conspicuous" religious items (i.e. the crucifix, the yarmulka, or the hijab-the Muslim headscarf) in public arenas like school or in court. I was arguing against the law, even though I am far from supporting fundamentalists, because I think it's an important freedom to have to be able to express your beliefs in any way you'd like (when it comes to personal appearance, obviously).
It's also important to note that I've been experiencing this beautiful city to an entirely American sound track. I even heard a friend of mine on the radio the other morning. Not so crazy considering I worked in a music hall in NYC for a year and change before I got here, but still. From jazz to folk to bluegrass to pop to rock and roll, Americans are definitely ahead of the game when it comes to music. Sure, the Brits have been fair contributers, but the French are quick to say, "American muzeek eez zee best." And yes, they say it just like that. And with authority. And I believe them.
I've also been tossing around this idea of becoming a writer which makes even the task of writing this silly blog seem daunting. There's this fine line that I feel I'm walking as an "aspiring writer" between a completely inflated sense of self (listen up kids, I'm gonna tell ya a little somethin' 'bout this thing we call life) and a desperate plea for validation (why would people want to hear what I have to say about anything?). Although now that I say it, this fine line is something I think maybe everyone struggles with, and to think it's unique to writing is pretty foolish. And like my teacher said the other day, "Alors, zere are plenty of people who love to read, so I zink you should just write." Also with authority. And I believe that, too.
When one man, for whatever reason, has an opportunity to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself. --Jacques Cousteau