You say you wanna resolution...

I no longer smoke cigarettes. I recycle, go to yoga often, eat decently, and haven’t bit my nails since high school.

You may well know in ‘08, I spent a semester studying in Paris (see below), and of course, it did that whole proverbial “change my life” number on me. For one thing I went from virtually no loan-debt to (how do you say) BEAUCOUP de loan-debt. This was the cause of much stress in 2009. I spent the last accidental weekend in France in the countryside with an amazing friend who I happen to admire as a talented entrepreneur and motivational speaker.

“What ees eet you want een life? What makes you appy?” he asked. (Raised bi-lingual, this kid has no discernable accent in real life, but for story-telling, French lovers always have zee accent.) I stared. And stuttered. I had no idea. (You! I wanted to scream.)

“Uh, yoga?” After 4 months away from the studio where I practiced regularly in Brooklyn, I felt a big gaping hole in my life. A hole that wouldn’t fill up no matter how much wine and cheese and delicious bread and coffee and tobacco (all obvious French substitutes for yoga) I consumed and inhaled.

This answer was kind of a shock to me. I’d spent my whole life with one goal. Since I was nine, I’ve wanted to be an actress. I’d gone to Paris to study film and French to become a more versatile actress.

The truth is long before I even left for Paris, I’d felt more than a little discouraged by the business side of the whole acting shtick. I was in a well-respected company, had an agent and good reviews, was called back for plays at Manhattan Theatre Club and making that regular trek to Chelsea Piers for those ridiculous Law and Order auditions. Climbing that ladder. Joining the unions was just one little job away. Paying gigs that didn’t hurt my soul were just around the corner. But then…nothing.

I came back to NYC with the intention of picking up where I left off. I had a few auditions lined up, and was ready to jump back in after my hiatus. But with noticeably less enthusiasm. After swift yet painful rejections, I noticed my desire to get back on that horse was dwindling. And I noticed actors (God bless the whole lot of them) were starting to annoy the shit out of me.

While in Paris, I had discovered a blog written by a woman who was living a slow life in rural France; the posts became regular inspiring lessons in sustainability. While in Paris, I lived next to a park. While in Paris, I noticed incredible differences everywhere…most notably in the way people conserved energy and how they viewed art. And don’t even get me started on the produce in the supermarket. And I noticed how I behaved quite differently when I knew my time there was limited.

I barely even scraped the surface, but thanks to the guidance of my teachers, I was spending every week taking advantage of my surroundings. I went to museums and parks, walked along the Seine and toured Montmartre. I swore that I would do the same when I got back to NYC. It took an entire year to make it happen, but my 2010 resolution is to do just that.

I accomplished very little of this in 2009. All the debt and rejection and failed love affairs got the best of me. Don’t get me wrong, I had some good times. Got to see New Orleans, Maine and San Fran. Saw great music. Was pulled back to acting in the most beautiful way (working with awesome people on collaborative new work in my old home town), and realized that no matter if I’m pursuing paying gigs or not, I will always be an actress (which is probably why I annoy the shit out of myself so often).

One great thing that I’ll be forever grateful for is finding my new place. Living in a house with artists and writers and carpenters where we share chores like gardening and caring for our chickens has done wonders for my psyche. My ’09 resolutions of becoming an opportunistic omnivore (a.k.a. near vegetarian or freegan) and buying everything possible used or 2^nd hand were successful, and I plan to keep those up for life.

But I digress.

2010 is the year of NYC, baby. I’m starting yoga teacher training in March, and with such a portable new career option, I don’t know how much longer I’ll call the Big Apple my home. Probably years yet, before I give up on this beautiful town…but for posterity and in honor of my impermanence in this city (and I guess in this life), I will be doing something “uniquely New York,” and documenting it here on this old blog-site. I hope to do it weekly. But this, like most resolutions, is subject to time constraints and plain laziness. The web address is still very fitting since a lot of my outings will have to be free; they’ll likely be the ol’ stroll and gander routine (comme les flaneurs d’artistes impressionnistes). Open for comments and suggestions, and company!

Tonight I had a very fitting first outing at the orientation for new members of the Park Slope Food Coop. Established in 1973, it is our nation’s oldest food coop that is run by more than 17,000 members. The idea is simple: “good food at low prices for working members through cooperation.” I’ll be working form 1pm-3:45pm every 4^th Tuesday in exchange for really cheap food and grocery items.

Although this idea is not uniquely New York (many food coops operate throughout the country), the community I’m joining is. I’m giddy thinking of all the good food and saved money. And even more excited for the learning experience this will undoubtedly turn out to be. The wheels are already turning…I predict a future initiating a similar institution in my hometown.

Now if only I could clean my damn room.

Next outing: Target Free Friday @ Moma with my beautiful sisters (coming up for my b-day) and whomever would like to join us. This week 01/08/10, 3pm.